Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
