So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
