I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
