I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
