yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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