Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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