somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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