I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
