i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my shit smells like andre
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
