Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
