He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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