Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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