I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i think my cat just said my name.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I love you. Go after that dick
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
