the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
