That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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