didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
