i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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