I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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