i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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