maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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