WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
