Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
