If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
