remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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