I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
