Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
