We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
