is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
