I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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