called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
