"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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