If that was your dad, he is hot
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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