I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
