I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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