I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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