We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
