Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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