he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
