Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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