I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How's work?
Spinning.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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