Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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