hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
