dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
