A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
