I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
wanna go halves on a baby?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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