Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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