apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
