i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
