Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
