then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
