I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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