he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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