It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
