drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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