I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
